For I live in a world where things happen, sometimes, without any explanation. I ask a question which is only answered by exponentially more questions...or in contrast, can only be answered with a heavy silence. When this happens, I have trouble finding peace, I get frustrated, both with myself and with others.
Some might say that the answers to every question are out there, that I just lack the knowledge needed to articulate a sound and logical reason. Well sure, I guess I can always dig deeper and learn more, but increasing how much I know does not necessarily increase how much I understand. And peace comes from understanding, not knowing.
So in a roundabout way, let me share with you how I try to find peace when I reach the limit of what I can understand...
In physics and chemistry, we observe phenomena and then create many intricate theories to help us organize our thinking and make predictions. Some say that these separate theories can be united in a larger Theory (with a capital "T"), the "Theory of Everything", from which all theories can be derived.
Now, I argue that the motivation behind forming this Theory does not lie in science and logic. More than just external facts and figures, I argue that the desire to form this Theory comes from the belief that there must be a higher order in this world. And although this order is currently beyond our understanding, we have an undoubting belief that on that level, everything makes sense.
This yearning for a higher order beyond our understanding is certainly not unique to physics. The undoubting belief of the existence of a higher order is often called Faith.
The "Theory of Everything" is just one name for this higher order, but there are others more common: God, Tao, Karma, etc. The details relating to each are different, but all have that same underlying principle, that somewhere beyond our understanding, everything makes sense.
So when nothing makes sense to me, my ability to understand reaches a wall, and I can no longer push through the barrier, I find peace by simply looking up...and "surrendering" myself to that higher order. The courage to look up, the humility to surrender...I call that Grace.
With Grace, my individual problems are swallowed by the Universe. With Grace, my personal anxieties become plain and insignificant.
When faith is strong and grace overflows, that is when we are most alive. We can transcend the limits. Even if the wall of understanding blocks the view in front of us, we can always look up, lose ourselves in that higher order, and find peace.
